There's a version of self-custody that ends with your Bitcoin locked forever. Nobody stole it. Nobody hacked it. You just never told anyone where to look.

Then they put the seed phrase in a drawer and never tell anyone it exists.

That's not self-custody. That's a time-locked donation to nobody.

The actual hard part isn't keeping your Bitcoin safe from attackers. It's making sure the right person can access it when you're gone without accidentally making it accessible right now.

A seed phrase that your spouse knows about is a seed phrase that a divorce lawyer knows about. A seed phrase in a safety deposit box is a seed phrase the bank can seal. A seed phrase in your will is public record the moment probate opens.

There's no perfect answer. But there are a few patterns that actually work:

Multisig with a trusted third party. 2 of 3 where your spouse has one key, you have one, and a Bitcoin-native inheritance service holds the third. Nobody can move funds alone.

A letter of instruction not in your will, not with the seed phrase, but stored separately with someone who only opens it under specific conditions. Clunky. Works.

The thing most people don't do: a dry run. Hand someone the instructions and watch them try to follow them without your help. If they can't, your inheritance plan doesn't exist.

I've been thinking about this more than usual lately. Curious if anyone here has actually stress-tested their setup with a family member or friend who isn't technical.