Star Date 7,90.-3%3 (fyi: comma dot dash modulo)

After the previous captain (Durk) of the SS Audacious had killed himself with a phaser, I, as fourth ranking officer took charge (seriously, the other dudes weren't up for it) and save our lil' warp ship from a nasty predicament somewhere on the outskirts of the Milky.

Data-analysis indicated Captain Durk had shot himself after inhaling toxic dumbening fumes on the surface of LaGrange VII, so I decided to get the crew out of here and get some R&R in a nearby system that would help recuperate their neuroplactic functionalities.

P.S.: Meanwhile, I've implemented some new rules on the ship. The men's fashion was horrendous as f* and so I abolished all men's wear. Since there's plenty of choice in the women's section, I'm quite positive the masculine side of our crew will find proper attire and update themselves to the 24th centure. For f's sake.

XOXO Cap' Jessie