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neither have way to independently prove payment.

what you are looking for is a fiat system then.
I used Robosats to pay bills P2P perfectly fine. Request to the payer some proof. Usually banks gives that proof and you can always check instantly with the receptor.

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no Im looking for a way to pay bills from a lightning node. robosats might be solid. just seems like a better solution could exist.

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a way to pay bills from a lightning node.

Just convince few merchants around you to accept BTC. As I did years ago.
If they are smart they will bring you whatever you need as long you pay in sats.
Why do you want to keep going back to fiat? Start a bitcoin circular economy in your area.

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how do you pay a cell phone bill from your own LN node?

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buah for cellphone are so many ways LOL
If you are ok using bitrefill you can literally use it for anything you need.
I am lucky that one of the local merchant I convinced is also recharging phone credits. So I pay him in sats directly anytime I need.
Apart from bitrefill are so many operators that can take your sats for eSIMs...

https://darth-coin.github.io/beginner/pay-with-bitcoin-en.html

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